Well it has honestly been months since I’ve made a post and that is mostly because I started a new internship at my church back in March and have been going nonstop with my schooling. To be honest I never thought I would make it this far, let alone my mom make it this far. It has been over a year since the diagnosis (April, 2015) and this rollercoaster of a journey started, but I am glad to say that we are much better and have come a very very veeeerrryyy long way. The new oncologist that we transferred to back in October has changed our new normal once again and has brought the gift of life back into our home. My mom has been given a new chemo regiment, which is a pill she takes everyday and a shot she gets once a month. Her hair has also grown back and continues to grow and best of all I am no longer needing to plan a funeral anytime soon. Life is starting to be good again and there is much hope for the future, but cancer does have its ups and downs. Though we are good and continously getting better, with how aggressive her cancer was from the point of diagnosis to the time it had spread, we will probably never hear the words remission or cancer free. It’s sad and breaks all of our hearts, but we have found a treatment that won’t promise 100 years, but allow her to live a long and healthy life…well minus the cancer part, but still healthy other than that. This is our new normal. For me, I’m still in school and still online, I have this amazing internship that I absolutely love, my mom is actually back working and teaching, and every Tuesday once a month we meet up at the cancer center for her treatment and to talk with the Doctor. I never thought I would ever say this in my life, but I am thankful that my mom got cancer and I know that sounds weird, but just hear me out…because of her getting cancer I have learned to appreciate life more, have grown and matured in so many ways, have found want I meant to do with my life, and especially learned to love like it’s going to be the last time every single day. Cancer sucks, trust me it does, and when you lose the one you love it’s a pain and hurt that never goes away, but it also changes you as a person. It grows and stretches you in so many different ways that you come out wiser, more appreciative, and especially more loving towards the ones around you. It wasn’t until I was sitting in yet another waiting room across from a mother and daughter pair, that were around the same age as my mother and I, that I noticed the daughter was the one with a sticker on her shirt and the one battling for her life.
…our cancer journey could have easily started with my diagnosis instead of my mothers and there were and are still some days that I wish I could’ve taken it from her and still think that it should’ve been me, but it wasn’t and sometimes I don’t even understand why, but I know that someday I will. I will understand the reason for all of this, sharing my story, writing this blog, battling cancer, but I will wait patiently until then because if I have learned anything from this entire journey, it’s that God’s timing definitely does not line up with our timing and the way we want things to happen. Well, we still have a long journey ahead as we continue our battle and keep on fighting the good fight, but for now we will continue to learn our new normal and hope and pray that there isn’t yet another new one any time soon.
So until next time…
The Caregiver ❤️
becomingthecaregiver 